Celebrity Chef Matthew's Life Off of TV

Many people ask me what I like to do when I'm not filming one of my cooking shows or writing another Light-Brite cookbook. For starters, I like to write HubPages about myself. I do it for my rabid fans, or as I like to call them, my little monosaccharides. But I also love spending time with my family. And yes, we do cook a lot together. My four year-old does all of the prep, my six year-old does all of the clean-up, and my wife does all of the cooking. I serve as the inspiration. When you have standards as high as mine, people will go to -crazy- lengths just to please you.

Additionally, I like to run marathons. I love the peace and tranquility of running in smog- and traffic-filled metropolises. I may be a middle-aged man, but any chance I get to be active and take my shirt off is an opportunity I'm not going to miss. I mean, have you seen the torso that I sport? Hairy, flabby, completely white – why wouldn't I take my shirt off for everyone to enjoy? That reminds me, I've got an online-only cooking show I'm pitching called “Celebrity Chef Matthew Changes into his Chef Whites on Camera Before He Saves this Person's Crappy Restaurant.” If you know anyone at Fox, have 'em call me 'cause it seems they love that kinda stuff.

Hmm, how else do I spend my time? Oh – hunting. I love to hunt. There's something so authentic and rustic about being in nature, being among LIFE, then popping a cap in a deer or moose. Or anything! The bigger, the better, right? I like to take my boy on these trips. The girls don't have the emotional mettle to hunt. My boy and me, sitting in a deer stand for three or four hours, talking about MAN stuff like white wine reductions and amuse-bouches, making fun of the wussy gastro chefs. All I can think is how much I love my little boy and how much I hate effing vegetarians. Why do they even exist? Isn't the point of life to eat as much of everything as possible? Jeez, it's like no one learned anything from “Chef Matthew Eats Lots of Crazy Sh*t.” But I digress.

I like to internet too. It seems like that's where some of the most daring culinary chefs have taken their musings. I've internet-ed a few recipes that have really changed my cooking perspective. Things like “Hot Beef Bookake” and “Crunchy Pink Tacos” make one question one's culinary point of view, and also try to push oneself to a higher level of exhaustion. Internet-ing can be such a useful tool. But like anything else, it can be used inappropriately. I'm talking to you, creators of laughatcelebritychefmatthew.com. That hurts me and my family. And my legal fees. I know you're just in the 8th grade, but Timothy Stephens, you're gonna learn when enough is enough. And may I remind you that your mother needs to call me back.

Lastly, I love to vacation with my family. Something intimate that the six of us can enjoy – with our crew of 40 camera-men, sounds techs, directors and producers. I mean, what fool pays for one's own travel when I can do it all for free in simple exchange for the privacy of those closest to me? That's a no-brainer. Strange, exotic lands like France, Australia, indo-China, Portland, Oregon. Wherever I want to go, I just pitch a “special” to Cooking Food Television and off we go. And the silver lining is that with all the advance research that the network does, we're spared from awkwardly wandering off into any part of town that isn't already TV-ready.

Celebrity Chef Matthew is not only the most famous and successful chef in the world, he's a two-time recipient of the James Beard "Chef of the Eternity" Award. You can follow him at http://twitter.com/TVsChefMatthew, http://www.vimeo.com/celebritychefmatthew and http://www.facebook.com/pages/Celebrity-Chef-Matthew/157600940949366.